Compassionate Listening: Institute Student Lives Out Education

Written By: Carl Cook

Carl Cook, a senior at the Institute for GOD, tells everyone how much he enjoys his time visiting and playing music for the elderly. It is one of the highlights of his week and the senior agree as it is one of the highlights of their week, too.

Every Wednesday after chapel at the Institute for G.O.D.,we (full-time students at the Institute for G.O.D.) spend about 3 hours in various service projects, from picking up trash in our neighborhood, to visiting the elderly at a local high rise.

Visiting these residents feels like sitting in a private library full of living, unfinished history books. Somehow and for some reason by the grace and love of God, I've had the privilege to sit down and take a peek into these incredible stories of God’s faithfulness, mercy, redemption, and protection that are still being written, yet already have so much to share.

Listening to the stories they share is a powerful experience. I am often taken back when I walk into the complex by simply thinking about how many lives, continents, families, friendships, and more have all been touched by the group of residents who gather in the lobby of the assisted-living facility on Wednesday mornings to listen to us play them songs. We also make sure to bring an assortment of baked goods to share. If there’s one thing that bridges all generational borders… it’s baked goods.

When the college students at the Institute of G.O.D. arrive at the senior citizen complex, the residents are already there waiting. At this time, during Covid, we are the only group allowed to visit residents.

When I play songs for them, I try to play things that spark both of our memories, songs that engage their heart and mind. I try to share things that I think they could relate to as God’s children, hoping that he might meet us there in those moments as we sit and reflect on life together. My songs and their memories create a sweet moment of inviting God’s presence. He’s so faithful. You can feel the Lord’s presence in the room as the residents either chime in with stories, dance in their wheelchair, or sing along themselves. I’ll play a song and talk about how it reminds me about my dad, and they’ll chime in about their children or a time they did something silly to their parents as a kid. It’s always hilarious and beautiful at the same time.

G.O.D.’s Widow and Elderly Care program is open for kids of all ages to interact and serve the elderly. College students visit and play music, teens bake special treats, and elementary-age students at the Academy weekly write notes and make cards to be delivered to the residents.

Through this experience I’ve learned a lot about compassionate listening. I think too often my ears aren’t attuned to what people are actually saying. A simple phrase like “God is faithful” might not hold the weight in our hearts that it deserves. I think about the biblical definition of compassion --“to suffer with”-- when I reflect on compassionate listening. I think about how in the book of Exodus, God did not just see the people: he saw them, he heard them, and he knew them.

There’s a callousness that can creep into our hearts. It’s the kind that makes the world a very simple place and can steal away the beauty that God wants us to witness in our everyday lives. It's not an explicit voice, but it can tell us things like ”We go to Bible school, of course God is faithful, I can exegete that from 200 different scriptures.” And suddenly you’re listening to a widow at the complex testify to God’s faithfulness in all her eighty years and thinking nothing more than just “That’s pretty cool.” Praise God that he’s teaching me to hear much more than that. Their testimonies are being etched into my heart and will be for years to come.

Even though the mask, Institute student, Sara Giguere, can see the joy on this man’s face as he chooses a sweet and exchanges words of thankfulness and appreciation.

Why talk about compassionate listening? Well, because I learned it from the residents at the complex. I saw it in scripture, but I’ve really learned it by listening to them. You see, at first, I told them I wanted to play their favorite songs, and they both obliged and enjoyed it. As time went on, they told me they wanted to hear me play my favorite songs. They said that they can always tell when people play things they love because it comes out in the soul behind the song. That’s compassionate listening: having the type of ear that can hear the soul behind the song. Ever since, I’ve been playing all of the old country songs my dad raised me on and the worship songs I’ve clung to as I’ve continued to work out my calling with fear and trembling, and the Lord has showed up there each time. He sees them, hears them, knows them, and I’ve just been so thankful to be able to spend my time with them.

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Then the Lord said, ‘I have observed the misery of my people who are in Egypt; I have heard their cry on account of their taskmasters. Indeed, I know their sufferings. Exodus 3:7