Cultivating a Sisterhood of Power, Love and a Sound Mind
By Celesta Bargatze
The response when new acquaintances learned that my husband and I had three daughters was almost always the same: “you’re in trouble when they all hit puberty!” We would politely smile and nod. Internally, I was deeply annoyed, mainly because I was already aware of this. I had been a teenage girl once and was all too aware how difficult it had been. Now I had to watch my three daughters go through the whirlwind of changes in their body and mind, all while dealing with social pressures and increasingly complicated peer relationships. The remnants of patriarchy and misogyny in our society become the final element to the perfect storm that is adolescence in America. So to all those who said my husband and I were headed for trouble, yes, thank you, you are correct, and saying it was super helpful (read that last part with a healthy dose of sarcasm).
Fast forward five years and there we were, my husband and I, at the precipice of the abyss that is raising a teenager, or tweenager. The first few difficult questions about things she had heard or noticed came from our eldest daughter’s sweet little mouth and we crashed into that awareness. “What do we do? What can we say?” All Derek and I knew for certain was that we wanted a better experience for our daughters than we had, and that we needed God’s help. Fortunately, we were not in this alone. Our dear friend Tara Garner had recently gone through this with her own first born and not only did she give us advice she created a way to help all of our daughters.
Left: Girls in the class were gifted scrunchies, which Tara taught them represented their sisterhood, how God has made them unique, yet connected just the same. Right: A visual made by Celesta’s daughter Adia, displaying one of the theme verses of the class.
Tara is an experienced doula and childbirth educator who has been teaching about women’s health and empowerment for over two decades in various countries around the world. Her knowledge of birth and God’s Word led her to create a curriculum for pre-adolescent girls that two of my daughters have now benefitted from. She was able to create a safe space for my girls and their friends to learn how they are “fearfully and wonderfully” made (the title of the curriculum). They learn why and how their bodies change and the incredible power they have to bear new life. This enables them to go into all the changes of puberty with an understanding that can eradicate fear. Even more precious was the sense of sisterhood they left with. They learned how to support one another rather than compete. How much healthier would we be as a society if we could all do that? My daughters each left this time encouraged and excited, ready to face whatever changes may come. As a mother, I could not have been more proud, or thankful.
Since she created this curriculum, three groups of 10 and 11 year old girls have been empowered here in Nashville. However, it has also been taken to Africa, India and the Philippines where this education has been revelatory. Young girls give testimonies that they thought they were dying because they didn’t know why they were bleeding. Others were convinced they had an evil spirit. Often, the topic is too taboo to talk about. But now they know that they are healthy, and even more, that they are important!
As a mother and a midwife, I know how important it is that women understand their bodies and how to care for them. As the mother of a teenager and an almost teenager, I’m hopeful instead of terrified. I know how powerful educated and empowered women can be, and that this one brief but crucial moment of life can be counted for them in the win column. My mama heart is bursting with hope and I pray that so many more young girls can experience this. Our world would be better because of it.
Video by Genesis Garner, Tara’s firstborn, and a previous participant of her mom’s first “Fearfully and Wonderfully Made”
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