Students at our Institute are given mentors to help them through their first few years, working through the transitions of life that need handled with care.
As we grow older, one of the benefits of that experience is that we come to learn being human is complicated. Life deals us all various hands, and we play them in different ways. And that all culminates into the individuals we become, with all our strengths and all our weaknesses.
Too often, however, we take what we see on the surface of a person and apply it to the whole of a person. We don’t recognize the sum of experiences that have led to their current behavior.
I’m reminded of an episode during my college experience when one of my professors, insecure about his teaching performance, hurled a stick of chalk across the room at the head of a girl who had fallen asleep. If that wasn’t enough, we all quickly learned in all of her fury that she had narcolepsy (bottle in hand to prove it) and had run out of medicine without time to replace it before class.
Or just the other day when I saw a cashier at Burger King struggling to work with one hand because the other was in a cast. I commented on the challenge of the task, and he invited me into his world for a brief moment. “It’s hard, but I gotta work.” “What happened?” “I got in an argument with my mom and I hit a tree instead of hitting her. I paid for it, but I’m glad I didn’t hurt my mom.”
Why those two stories? The first story represents a very misfortunate moment when the teacher reacted out of insecurity instead of using it as a teaching moment. Ironically, the class was about how to engage students in the classroom.
The second scenario, seemingly a little excessive for a drive-thru exchange between strangers, reminds us that a simple inquiry can lead to an honest and vulnerable window into a person’s life.
Both of theses moments remind us that there is so much happening inside of people that, for the sake of a normal living experience, they don’t just expose to everyone on the day-to-day.
Jesus, when he taught the crowds, recognized tension that so often exists between people: “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For the measure you use, it will be measured to you,” Luke 6:37-38.
These words are meant to slow us down. They beg of us to ask questions before we make judgments. To gain understanding before we condemn. To look forward to forgiving, knowing we also need that kind of mercy.
But remember, Jesus was talking to the crowds. It’s the cooperation of everyone to exercise this kind of discernment and patience towards our neighbor that opens up the door for us to understand one another. May the measures we take to understand our neighbor be the reputation we carry as the children of God.
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